AMBIENT THOUGHT – EPISODE One Hundred Eighty Seven: Let It Mature…

The following and all of the other episodes to come are snapshots of what goes on in my head, now and in the past. There are times none of this will make sense. There will be times when I might get lucky and the blog I post will be well constructed and will flow like a mountain stream to an awaiting lake below. Other times it will seem like the ramblings of a madman and you’ll ask yourself, “What the……?”
You should probably get used to the latter.



I don’t drink very often. I have had some bad experiences with it because I seem to have an obsessive type of personality. I believe that if I drank every week (Or, dear God, every day), I would need help. I would become an alcoholic.
But, on occasion, I might have a beer. And those are rare occasions. I can count on two hands the number of beers I have had in the year 2019. No kidding. Every once in awhile, I’ll get a taste for a beer on a Saturday afternoon.
When it comes to liquor, well, I have no love for any of it. Not anymore. The one exception is the shot of Jack Daniels I will have on my dad’s birthday. He always joked about how a shot of Jack will help you feel better if you’re suffering from a cold (or any other illness). And in his honor, I will have one shot and toast him and hold my shot glass high. Of curse, that’s after I cough and make a horrible face as the taste of that brown liquor goes down my throat. Yeeeeech!!!

Then there’s wine. It has been a while since I have had a glass. And I actually like wine. Wait, let me clarify that. I like good wine. Not the cheap I-gotta-get-drunk wine or the really sweet five dollars a bottle wine (hello… Boones Farm). I mean wine that you sip when you have cheese and good crackers with a little fruit. That kind of wine.
A kind of wine that has to mature before it’s good.

Like people.

It takes time for the wine to become delicious. Just like people. We have to go through situations, both good and bad, and learn from them. We have to be both the ball and the bat to learn how to be kind. I can’t say we only know what it’s like to be just the ball because to be human is to err. We all take the form of the bat from time to time.
As we grow older, we are supposed to understand that being cruel is wrong, based on these experiences we have had happened to us in our lives.

It shames me to admit that I have been both the ball and the bat. I have been both the victim and the bully in my life. I have been sweet and sour.
But I have learned. I learned empathy.
The word empathy means… the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.
You put yourself in someone’s shoes and you walk around in them.

We are supposed to mature over time.

And when I mean to mature doesn’t mean you have to stop liking comic books or collecting action figures or do things are deemed childish by some. If you aren’t hurting anybody and it brings you joy, actual joy, then go for it. To mature means to stop making fun of people for being themselves, for being good people.

Facebook can be a haven to those that like to make fun of others. Honestly, that is the reason for this post. I saw a picture of someone that was dressed up as a comic book character and this person didn’t match the physical characteristics of the fictional image. And this person was called names because of it.
To be honest, as a child and to be included with a group, I might have joined in. Because I was childish and insecure with how I looked and it’s easier to make fun of someone that turns it toward myself and my own hangups. But as a grown adult that understands empathy and has been on both sides, I see this person as strong and awesome and a better person than the ones calling her names.

In my eyes, I have become a sweet red wine. Hell, an expensive bottle from Chateau Margaux bottled in 1787. There might be some scratches on the label and some nicks in the glass but inside, sweet, fruity nectar.

Yeah, I think that. And it’s taken me a LONG time to get there.

Being mature isn’t popular and it’s rarely fun. You don’t make a lot of friends by being mature. And, again, I’ve been on both sides. I used to make fun of people to get people to laugh and to make friends. Especially in high school. I made myself ‘the funny one’. Easy with a joke or insult to get laughs and ‘points’ with my friends.
I think back and wished I had been a bit different. I should have been stronger and held back the urge to look like an asshole to get a few cheaps laughs. If anything, I should have got a few more laughs by making fun of the one person I had the right to; myself.

It frustrates me when I see people my age still engaging in making fun of others to look cool. It’s not and it never has been. It’s a sign of immaturity and an underlying problem with yourself.

I’m not saying people can’t make you mad. I’m not the Buddha or Jesus. I’m human and people can tick me off with their annoying ways. But people just minding their business being them, making fun of them is simply wrong.
And stupid.

I intend on staying a fine, red wine (I prefer red over wine). I will keep myself from becoming vinegary and undrinkable.

I wish more people would follow suit. If not, they should just stay in the bottle.

-Loyd Elmore Jr
October, 23rd 2020

I’ve decided to keep a blog about how I’m dealing with depression. I’m going to consider this a form of therapy. It might not help anybody else but it might help me.

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