The following and all of the other episodes to come are snapshots of what goes on in my head, now and in the past. There are times none of this will make sense. There will be times when I might get lucky and the blog I post will be well constructed and will flow like a mountain stream to an awaiting lake below. Other times it will seem like the ramblings of a madman and you’ll ask yourself, “What the……?”
You should probably get used to the latter.
EPISODE ONE HUNDRED THIRTY SEVEN: FIELD OF BELIEF
As you know, I put a lot of pop culture references in my blog posts. It makes it easier for me to explain myself. It’s funny. It all seems clear in my head but when the ideas go from the organ between my ears to my fingers and I read it back, I wonder what the hell I was trying to say.
Here’s another blog post where I bring some pop culture and an idea together.
Before there was Shawshank Redemption, there was (and is) a movie called Field of Dreams. Odds are (8 or 9 out of 10) that you have seen it. It’s basically about a guy who hears a voice out in his cornfield that says, “If you build it, he will come.” So, he builds a baseball field in his cornfield, ghost baseball players from the past shows up…yada, yada, yada. If you haven’t seen it, you should. Especially if you’re going to read this post. If you have seen it, you already know and I will continue.
I was needing something to watch and get lost in. I turn on Netflix, scroll down and see Field of Dreams. I thought, why not? I can tell you it’s been a number of years since I saw it. I mean, I’ve seen it a number of times in the past, enough that I can quote certain sections of it in rolling dialogue. But I was watching it with new eyes. Certain things that happen along the way can make you see things that you have seen before in all new ways. As I watched this 1989 classic, that is exactly what happened.
I put myself in the shoes (not Shoeless Joe) of Ray Kinsella (Kevin Costner) and thought about what I would have done in this situation. And by ‘situation’, I mean one in particular.
I’m out in my cornfield, minding my business, and a voice talks to me among the stalks of ears. Now, if I don’t have a certain mind frame, I might think of the voice as a figment of my imagination, a glob of mustard or undigested potato, or maybe my mind wouldn’t be open enough to hear it at all. I would just keep trudging along among the rows and think about what I might watch on TV that night.
Without belief in that voice, there is no ball field, no Shoeless Joe, no other ghost ballplayers, and no John Kinsella, Ray’s father.
Unless you are in a situation like that, an overwhelming situation, a situation that seems fantastical and unbelievable, you might not know how you might react.
I’m going to give you some situations.
A UFO lands in front of you and aliens get out.
You collect action figures and they come alive and interact with you.
You’re walking in the woods and come upon Bigfoot.
You visit Scotland, go to Loch Ness, go out in a rowboat and Nessie breaks the surface to look at you.
There are more but we’ll leave it to these. It all comes down to the same thing. If something very odd happens to you, something different from ordinary, something ‘unbelievable’, can you believe it?
Accepting certain things in life must happen to move forward. That can go from something wonderful to something horrible. Once we accept these things as truth, we move forward again. Then there might be something that happens that ‘shouldn’t’ happen but it does. Are you someone that can accept this odd, unbelievable situation and move on?
Speaking for myself, I believe if put in one of these situations, I would believe it was really happening. Since I was a kid, I have hoped and looked for such things to happen. It’s true once somebody gets older and lives their lives (the good, the bad), the belief and the want to believe that these things can happen tends to fade or even die.
Here’s an example (and I’m sure I have mentioned this before):
As a kid, I loved my G.I. Joe’s. I played with them all of the time. I could get up in the morning and start playing until it was dark outside. Sometimes when I went to bed, I would imagine a ‘movie in my head’ before I would fall asleep (I still do). One of my favorites was that my Joe’s would come alive and live in the walls of my house. My parents wouldn’t know they were there. They would rely on me to help feed them and take care of them. I would even try to will them to come alive. I would hold one in my hand and concentrate on it. Come alive, come alive, come alive, I would chat in my head. Of course, it never happened. Then you grow up and these little dreams, wishes, and fantasies disappear into the vapor of your childhood.
At least, for most.
Not me. I still wish it would happen. Maybe not my G.I. Joe’s but something like that. And I know that if I saw an action figure that I own (Yes, I still collect some from time to time), running across the floor on its own, I would accept it. I might be amazed and unable to speak, but I would accept it.
I’ll tell you why.
I believe there is such a thing as magic.
I believe that there are things we haven’t discovered yet that would blow our minds and make us rethink what we believe is real.
That kid that I was who dreamed and fantasized and hoped is still inside of me. It’s what made me want to be a writer. I can put down these down on paper and make it real to an extent. And who knows? Maybe I’ll write some fiction that turns out to be non-fiction in time.
If we want to build our own fields of dreams, we need to listen to the voice and be open to what we think is impossible.
January 18th, 2019
I’ve decided to keep a blog about how I’m dealing with depression. I’m going to consider this a form of therapy. It might not help anybody else but it might help me.