AMBIENT THOUGHT – EPISODE One Hundred Thirty Six: Role Call!!!

The following and all of the other episodes to come are snapshots of what goes on in my head, now and in the past. There are times none of this will make sense. There will be times when I might get lucky and the blog I post will be well constructed and will flow like a mountain stream to an awaiting lake below. Other times it will seem like the ramblings of a madman and you’ll ask yourself, “What the……?”
You should probably get used to the latter.



Shabooya sha sha shabooya roll call
You are a human
And so am I
We might fail
And then we’ll die
Roll Call
Shabooya sha sha shabooya roll call


Two words that sound the same but mean something different. There’s the word roll which means something that turns over on itself, like a wheel. Or maybe it’s a small loaf of bread. The yeast ones are awesome. Go to Lambert’s Cafe and they will throw one at you. Take a catchers mitt. Trust me.
Then there is the word role which might mean actors play a part in a film, a play, or on TV. Or ‘the function assumed or part played by a person or thing in a particular situation.’ Thanks, Google.
THIS is the one I want to talk about. Even though I’m craving a yeast roll now.

The term role model, based on Google, is ‘a person looked to by others as an example to be imitated.’ There was once a time when our role models were people we might never have the chance to meet in real life. We read about them in magazines or in books. Maybe we saw them in newsreels before our favorite serials that played before a movie a few decades ago. There were no social media and what they did behind closed doors was never found out until years later. We lifted these celebrities up and believed they were better than us, smarter than us, more beautiful or handsome than us. Men were strong and women were to be desired. We wanted them to be our best friends or our lovers, maybe even our husbands or wives. We dreamed they were the way we saw them in the films we watched or the magazines we saw them in.

And, of course, most weren’t.

Maybe your role models were your parents or somebody in your family. You watched them from as soon as you could remember and how they took care of you and how they interacted with you.
Maybe when they fed you, they made airplane sounds with the spoon that held your oatmeal and came in for a landing into your mouth and they smiled and laughed when they saw you smile and laugh.
Maybe they encouraged you to dream and to read and to climb a tree and see the world from a different place. They gave you crayons and building blocks to help you create something on your own. They sat next to you and taught you to see what wasn’t there…yet.
Maybe you believed them to be perfect.

And, of course, they weren’t.

Now, real role models are few and far between. Every day we see people we thought of as ‘perfect’ get pulled down from the high places when we find they are much less than we thought they were. We find that the image that shows to the world is a far cry from the people they really are.
But, my dear friends, that is the way it is.

As of this writing, I have seen many a man that was caught with their proverbial pants down. More than a few have been known to treat women (and men) that they have seen as nothing more than sexual objects and have treated them as such have been found out. Whether it was just one occasion because of a drunken stupor or it had happened many times over many years to many people. Just a day ago the world saw a major news anchor get fired and sent packing because of the things we have been told he did. For me, it was a shock. I liked this guy.  There have been a couple of these men that have been put in the role of ‘bad guy’ due to ‘inappropriate behavior’ that I even looked up to. And when their names get splattered on the screen for the things they did, it makes me feel like a chump.
Of course, I don’t know any of these people personally. I only know them from what I see from the characters they play on the big screen or how they are portrayed on TV or in magazines. You want to believe they are good guys.

Some of the people you think highly of will be the people you hope they are. Not every single actor or actress is treating people like they owe them something. Not every one of them is conning you.
But you can’t treat any of them as if they are perfect. They’re not.
And neither are you.

If you’re a religious person, you believe God and Jesus are perfect role models. Maybe you believe in Muhammad or Budda and they are the truly righteous and the ones to follow. Or it might be another religious figure that you believe in and put your complete trust in.
You’re not wrong.
If you truly believe that your deity is peace-loving and you follow that example.
I, myself, believe in a higher power and believe that this higher power knows truly from right and wrong.

But, my dear ones, so do some of these people that treat others with such disrespect. Some of them believe that just because they follow a god or believe we were put here due to a purpose that they can get away with such things.
They would be wrong.

So, Loyd, old blog writer, who do you think is a good role model?

Well, since you asked, I’ll tell you.

It’s somebody I see every day, even if it’s hard to look at them in the face. This person isn’t perfect, far from it, but this person is truly trying to be the best person they can be, even if this person strays from the road from time to time.
And this person is looking at their middle age and hoping it’s not too late to do right by me.
I see this person in the mirror.

You see, of all the people in the world that have ever been and ever will be, I can only control what I do. I’m the only one I can look up to. I have to accept my flaws and errors to move on. And nobody else can do that for me.

I’m not saying you can’t look up to your parents especially when they were really good to you and guided you the way they should have. I think most of us go through phases with our parents. First, they are your heroes and then you see them with flaws and you think you’re the smartest being on the face of the planet…until you deal with your own life and the troubles that come with it. Then you see your flawed parents as not as flawed as you thought. Or you realize you are just as flawed. Then we understand them more and maybe see they really were that wonderful.
But after a time in your life, they can’t control you anymore and you must stand on your own. You have to be your own role model.

So, when you see another news anchor, actor, politician, or all around important person in the world and the world sees this person is just as flawed, don’t feel too bad.
Be your own role model. Treat people better than those people.
Maybe…others might see a real role model in you.

-Loyd Elmore
January 11th, 2019


I’ve decided to keep a blog about how I’m dealing with depression. I’m going to consider this a form of therapy. It might not help anybody else but it might help me.

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