AMBIENT THOUGHT – EPISODE One Hundred Fifteen: Alakazam? Not Really…

The following and all of the other episodes to come are snapshots of what goes on in my head, now and in the past. There are times none of this will make sense. There will be times when I might get lucky and the blog I post will be well constructed and will flow like a mountain stream to an awaiting lake below. Other times it will seem like the ramblings of a madman and you’ll ask yourself, “What the……?”
You should probably get used to the latter.



I’m a middle-aged man that loves Harry Potter. I think the books are so well written, it’s easy to fall into the book and be taken away.

And because of that, Harry and JK Rowling helped me get through one of the worst times of my life.

Like a lot of people, I went through a divorce. I was living in a house all by myself until we sold it. And I needed something, something to take my time off of the pain I was going through. I had been hearing a lot about the Harry Potter books from friends. I thought I would give it a try. I headed down to my local bookstore on my next payday and found the first one, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. There was two more that was out but I figured if the first one didn’t grab me, there was no need to get those yet.

I bought it and took it home. I made my sad man’s dinner of a pan of three-cheese macaroni, grabbed some ice tea, and settled in to read this book. I had all weekend. I wouldn’t be seeing my daughter, who was so little at the time. I ate and turned one page after another. By the time I was about twenty pages in, I was hooked. I read that book to about midnight, way after I finished my mac and cheese and drank about a gallon of tea (and a few visits to the restroom). I just couldn’t keep my eyes open any longer.

I woke up the next morning and started right back into the book. I read it all day and finished it late that afternoon. I closed the book and felt empty. I wanted to see what happened next. I looked at the clock and saw the bookstore was still open. I got dressed, grabbed my keys, and went and bought the next two.

Harry, Ron, Hermione, Snape, Dumbledore, and all of the others helped me keep my sanity during a very hard time. It helped me remember there’s a magic in books and good stories. They help take you away for a while.

Unfortunately, there are no real magic words. There is no real Abracadabra, Alakazam, Hocus Pocus, Open Sesame, Expecto Patronum, or any others. There are no words you can say that can magically make things appear from thin air or disappear into thin air. Trust me, I wish there was.

The only words that are close to being magic are ones that give us a feeling that everything will be alright. We look for other people to give us those words but for them to be magical, WE have to say them to ourselves and we must MEAN it.

Here’s a few I think are those: hope, belief, and love.

My opinion is that hope is the biggest of them all. Without hope, you can’t believe in yourself and know what you’re doing is worth it. You can’t have love. You’ll feel it’s not worth to find love and expect to live a life in sadness and loneliness.

Once you have hope, you can believe. You can believe that every next minute, every next second, there is a possibility that dreams can come true, a dream of a better life, a dream to make your life extraordinary. With hope, you can believe that you are destined to have a meaningful life.

And when you have hope, and then you believe, you can love. You can have it and you can share it. You will give it to those that give you hope. You can give it to those that believe in you.

Those three words are the most powerful. There are a few other words that come from those three. Dream, wonder, create, and passion is children of those. Hope to be God and Believe and Love being the parents. Those words create a family within ourselves that spurs a life worth living. It spurns a life that is fulfilling.

So, maybe there are magic words in this life. Maybe when you use those words with an open heart and mind, you can make worlds move, you can heal wounds of all kinds, you can move the unmovable, you can see what is possible. I guess magic is a frame of mind. They are created from a mind and a heart that can not only say the words but put them into action.

What do you do when you lose the first magic word: hope? I have been there and there are days when it ebbs and wanes like the tide to the Moon. It goes out and comes back in. I have moments where I can make it and I see the path and then there are days when the path is gone and there is nothing but impassible wilderness in my way. Hope can be fleeting and it’s never there rock steady.
What do you do?

You can’t give up. Even if you have to chant that magic word, hope, to yourself all day, you can’t give up. You have to hope that things will get better, you just have to hang on until the path reappears and you can start down it again. There may be times when that path is lit up with the warm sun or it may be dark and cold by a midnight sky. The path is there.

You must have hope.

I suppose there are real magic words in the world.
They’re magic if we believe in them.

I hope you do.
I hope I do, too.

-Loyd Elmore
June 29th, 2018


I’ve decided to keep a blog about how I’m dealing with depression. I’m going to consider this a form of therapy. It might not help anybody else but it might help me.

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