AMBIENT THOUGHT – EPISODE Ninety Seven: Don’t Say That!!! It’s Nice…

The following and all of the other episodes to come are snapshots of what goes on in my head, now and in the past. There are times none of this will make sense. There will be times when I might get lucky and the blog I post will be well constructed and will flow like a mountain stream to an awaiting lake below. Other times it will seem like the ramblings of a madman and you’ll ask yourself, “What the……?”
You should probably get used to the latter.

EPISODE NINETY SEVEN:  Don’t Say That!!! It’s Nice…

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Do you remember when you said your first curse word?

I do.

I was about eight or nine, playing in the front yard with a couple of neighborhood friends. We had been talking when my dad came out and told me it was time to go in. He wasn’t a fan of the two kids I was playing with. Looking back now, I totally understand why.
As I was going in with him, I asked him a question.
“We were talking and they said f**k was a bad word. Is that right?”
My dad’s eyes got really wide. I’m sure hearing his young son say the big F word was a bit of an unexpected shock.
“Yes. Yes, it is.”
He looked at me in the eyes.
“And don’t say that anymore. OK? And don’t play with them anymore.”
I nodded and said I wouldn’t.

Well, I can say I didn’t keep part of that promise. I did stop playing with those kids. As for not saying that word, well…if there is a record for somebody saying it in their lifetime, I may not be at the top of the list but I bet I could teach a class.

It’s funny how we love to say words we shouldn’t. All the curse words.

But some people have such a hard time saying the words they should say. Maybe it’s our upbringing. Maybe we’re taught not to look weak. It seems to be more acceptable to curse somebody out, to tell them how horrible they are.

Here are some of those words that a lot of people find hard to say:

Help.
We ALL need help from time to time. We have moments where we might bite off more than we can chew and need to ask for it. We think we can do it all on our own. We either don’t want to bother someone or it might make us look weak. I have been guilty of it. Both of the reasons I used is what came to my head when I wanted to ask.
Trust me, if you need help, ask for it.

Sorry.
We have all been in an argument with somebody. It might be with our parents or our spouse. Maybe it was with a friend. Or maybe it could have been with our own children. After it’s over and you have left the scene to calm down, you realize you were wrong. Not just a little wrong but full on, foot-in-your-mouth wrong.
How do you fix it? You explain that you were wrong and that you’re sorry. But you find that the argument was much easier to start than to say that one five letter word. When it comes to saying sorry, I have got a lot better at doing it. I know it doesn’t make someone weak when it needs to be said. It’s admirable in a person and you find when you do, even though you might have been wrong, you’ll find yourself being trusted more.

Now, the three phrase siblings

Please.
We live in a take world and saying please, to ask for something, has become almost taboo. Again, it’s that feeling of weakness when please needs to said. The person saying it tends to think they will be ‘lower on the pole’ than the person being asked. It might be a fear of losing status or they think they are lowering themselves by saying please. To be completely honest, I have never had a problem saying please. It’s how you got things that you couldn’t get for yourself.

Thank you.
This one goes hand and hand with please. We should have learned this from our parents along with please. Odds are if you say please, you will say thank you.

You’re welcome.
Another thing to say that goes with please and thank you. I think there should be a special rudeness jail set up just for people who don’t say these three things when they need to be said. It comes from politeness.

And the last one I want to bring up and the most important word in the world.

Love.

Love is the word that can be the hardest to say. To say it, you’re not just making yourself look weak…but you’re putting your heart on the line, the thing that some people believe is the weakest thing about us. Have you ever wanted to tell somebody that you have been seeing for a while that you love them? You have given it enough time to know it’s real and you really feel it. When it comes to saying it, we get all sweating and cotton-mouthed. You’re afraid they won’t feel the same or they will look at you like you’re a psycho. The idea of opening up themselves to expose their heart, their most vulnerable place, will be the death of them.
I’ve been nervous to say it, just like everybody else. But each time, I’ve been hoping that they will say it back.
First of all, if it’s time and you feel it, tell them. Go outside and scream it for all to hear. And second, they might be scared, too. They want to say it but they are waiting for you. It’s a game of chance, for sure. But I’m here to tell you, it’s worth it.

These words are so hard to say. You must find the strength to do it. If you do, say it with conviction and mean it. Say them with your vulnerable heart. Let them know that you believe in these words.

It gets me down when there are people I know that I care about have a hard time to say them. It makes me want to be the role model and say these things. And I have. Since being a kid, I have never had a hard time putting it all on the line and saying these simple words and phrases. Sometimes it may have been a little harder than others but I wouldn’t pause too much if they needed to be said if I needed to say them if I knew that whoever needed to hear them.

I hope saying Sorry, Please, Thank you, You’re Welcome and saying Love comes easier to people than saying F**k.

If they do, maybe I’ll say the F word a lot less.

-Loyd Elmore
January 26th, 2018

 

I’ve decided to keep a blog about how I’m dealing with depression. I’m going to consider this a form of therapy. It might not help anybody else but it might help me.

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