AMBIENT THOUGHT – EPISODE Eighty Eight: I See You, Avatar…

The following and all of the other episodes to come are snapshots of what goes on in my head, now and in the past. There are times none of this will make sense. There will be times when I might get lucky and the blog I post will be well constructed and will flow like a mountain stream to an awaiting lake below. Other times it will seem like the ramblings of a madman and you’ll ask yourself, “What the……?”
You should probably get used to the latter.



I say this to my dog all of the time.
“I see you, Avatar.”

No. His name is not Avatar. It’s Louis. But I say that because I’m referring to the movie, Avatar. It’s a greeting. It means I SEE you. I’m listening and my heart and mind is open to you.
Blah, blah, blah.

My dog doesn’t think I see him. I come in from work and the first thing I want to do is empty my pockets, put everything in my hat and put them all in the drawer where I keep it all. Louis will block my way until I have acknowledged his existence with some rubs of the head and some talk.
“I see you, Avatar.”

A few days ago, I thought about that phrase and what it really means. To really see somebody (or your pet) may be the greatest thing you can give. You don’t let distractions get between that one and you.
And you listen. You really listen.

To find this in another person is hard. There are so many distractions in this world and we tend to lick our own wounds than to help tend to others. We don’t want others to add their needs or their pain onto our own.

I’m going to ask you a question and by asking this, I’m asking myself the same question.
How many people do we truly see? Not just with our eyes but with our heart. Who do we really listen to?

For me, there are two or three people that I see, that I hear, with all of my being.
And three pets. I see them, regardless on what Louis thinks. I see him and our two cats.
As for a few others that I feel I’m close to, I am open when they want me to be. If they pull me into confidence and need my council, then all of my senses become open and I am there in the moment. I will give advice if asked or if I see that’s what they are driving at, if I see they are wanting some advice but afraid to ask. As we know, it’s hard for some to lay their feelings out there in the sunshine.

But other than those few, I have trouble seeing. I don’t want to be bothered with their problems or their own issues. Sometimes, it’s understandable. You must be willing to help yourself before someone will help you. They must see their position in their issues and wonder if they put themselves there or they need to do more to fix their situation before asking for help.

I’m getting off the subject. I have to talk about me and how I need to see better, not what others are doing and their lack of seeing.

It’s hard to open your eyes to everyone. When your issues and problems and troubles are flooding your mind and causing you to think about them to no end, it’s hard to focus on others’ issues. You want to help, if you can, but if your house is burning down around you, the idea of running out to put out somebody else’s burning house is difficult to do. I’m not saying I wouldn’t do that. It depends on who it is. Those two or three that I talked about would have me there in a heartbeat with a fire hose in hand, dousing the flames. I wouldn’t even think about my own house. Those very few are way more important in my life.

When life isn’t burning down my house, being open, really seeing, is something that I need to work on. It’s just not seeing the homeless man asking for a dollar but to the cashier who is having a bad day. It’s not just the woman in Wal-Mart with the six kids and she looks like she might strangle one of them for knocking a knick-knack off a shelf and breaking it but it’s also seeing the guy driving the nice sports car who parked in the handicapped spot, not because he is handicapped but because he was just going to ‘run right in’ and didn’t want to be bothered to find a spot away from the front door or the thought he might get his car scratched made him nervous.
I need to see it ALL. The good, the bad, the righteous, the evil, the unlucky, the takers, the givers. Everyone.

The reason for that is you can learn from everyone you see. You can see how to be and how not to be. And by doing that, you can make the wisest decisions and you can help those that really need the help.

Seeing is as important as breathing. It takes practice to see how you need to, especially when it comes to other people. They can be really kind but afraid to show it due to past experiences or they can be super nice on the outside but their soul is slick and slimy from their bad use of others. Over time and if you really try to see, you’ll be able to distinguish how someone really is.
Most of the time.

I’ve been lucky to be someone that has learned to study people. I think that’s part of the reason why I love to write. I see my characters and how they react in situations and can make it feel real.
And you have to know yourself and others that are around you to bring those characters to life.

But I still have a lot of work to do in seeing. Characters on the page, even though they are born from people in real life, is still completely different from people in the waking world. You physically interact with those, in some form or another.

Try to see everyone you see today. It doesn’t matter who it is. From a big, giant blue guy (or girl) from another world with a tail or a big goofy boxer that answers to the name of Louis.
Let them know you see them.

-Loyd Elmore
November 3rd, 2017


I’ve decided to keep a blog about how I’m dealing with depression. I’m going to consider this a form of therapy. It might not help anybody else but it might help me. 

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