The following and all of the other episodes to come are snapshots of what goes on in my head, now and in the past. There are times none of this will make sense. There will be times when I might get lucky and the blog I post will be well constructed and will flow like a mountain stream to an awaiting lake below. Other times it will seem like the ramblings of a madman and you’ll ask yourself, “What the……?”
You should probably get use to the latter.
EPISODE SIXTY SIX: Connect The Connection
There are things in the my life and in this world that bothers me a lot. When you have depression, these things become magnified.
Rudeness, stupidity for stupidity’s sake, ignorance with no will to become less so, laziness, those are some big ones.
And a lack of communication and a lack of connection bothers me to no end.
If you’re a child, it’s a little easier to understand. Maybe it’s a fear of getting into trouble. Or looking stupid. Or just being plain lazy.
An adult should not have these fears. But I see it from adults everyday.
I’ve talked about people having a lack of communication.
Now I’m going to talk about how some people have a lack of connection.
I’ve been out on dates before in my past where the girl sitting across from me at a table at a restaurant, a person I made small talk with, had no connection with me at all. And I was the same with her.
It just wasn’t going to work. We both knew it. And that was that. We tried. What more can you ask for?
Then there have been not just girls I asked out but just plain friends where it felt like we were separated at birth and that connection between us was loud and clear. We could talk about anything and nothing was off limits and the comfort was there in strong waves. It doesn’t happen too often but when it does, it’s like lightning.
There are times when the connection gets lost. When people start to drift apart, the connection can get weaker. If the signal for each other isn’t turned up, the connection could die. That happens all the time with people. We have a huge connection with each other and it might just fade over time. That’s life.
There are those special few people in your life where the connection is too strong to weaken, no matter where you go or the amount of time you are separated. And if you are really lucky, you find somebody so special that the connection is too strong to even leave them. Odds are, they are the ones you marry. At least, that happened to me. The second time.
Sad thing is, there are people that try to make no connection at all. Or they think that friendships or relationships that are only possible when the other person does it all. They don’t want to lift a hand to call or write or text the other. They expect it to all happen for them. The connection is totally one way which means, it’s no real connection at all. A definition for the word connect is to join together. That means more than one thing is required to connect.
In other words, it takes two to tango, baby.
Sometimes a person will ping (like a submarine) somebody else to make a connection and the other will not want any part of it. It’s like when somebody calls another and only gets the voice mail or back in the ‘old’ days, it would just ring and ring and ring.
The hint is not taken. The person that is trying to connect so much, it puts off the other person.
It is very important to try and connect. Especially with your family. Your wife, your husband, your mate. And without a doubt, your children. That should be the connection that you strive for the most. I’m pretty lucky when it comes to this. My daughter and I have a pretty good connection. She knows she can talk to me about anything, even if it might be hard for her. She knows that I love her with all of my heart. And nothing will even change that.
How does she know that?
Because I make a point to tell her as much as possible. I tell her I’m proud of her and making her smile or laugh cheers me up no matter what.
And that is a connection that will last forever. Maybe it’s a connection that will still be there even after I’m gone.
We need to try and connect everyday. Even with people that we have a connection with already. That pinging must keep happening. The link must stay strong.
I feel as a society, we have lost the connection with each other. Human beings as a whole has lost the connection or we just gave up on trying to keep it alive everyday. We get so mad at each other for things we can’t change and shouldn’t be changed. We hate each other because of the color we are or our religion or because we have no religion. We get mad at each other because we’re straight or gay. We get mad at each other because somebody wants to live their life their way and somehow that causes you to change the way you live.
We are so fearful that other people are going to change you against your will. And because of that fear we shut down the connection between us.
This is another little part of my depression. Seeing this happen in the world and not being able to change it.
I hope we can get that connection back in time. Maybe then, we can let go of the things that do not matter and connect with each other again on a personal level.
Maybe one day, we’ll all tune that little radio in our heads. Mine looks like the one we had in our kitchen when I was growing up. The one I would listen to the AM station before I went to kindergarten in the mornings.
We’ll turn the dial and scroll past all of the nonsense static and come to a station that is loud and clear. We’ll all tune in to it.
On the other side will be everybody else.
We’ll be connecting. Again.
April 21st, 2017
I’ve decided to keep a blog about how I’m dealing with depression. I’m going to consider this a form of therapy. It might not help anybody else but it might help me.