AMBIENT THOUGHT – EPISODE Fifty Six: Ink and Outlet

The following and all of the other episodes to come are snapshots of what goes on in my head, now and in the past. There are times none of this will make sense. There will be times when I might get lucky and the blog I post will be well constructed and will flow like a mountain stream to an awaiting lake below. Other times it will seem like the ramblings of a madman and you’ll ask yourself, “What the……?”
You should probably get use to the latter.

EPISODE FIFTY SIX:  Ink and Outlet


Are you one of those that believe we are all born with certain talents? Maybe we have talents that are built into us from our ancestors? Or maybe it’s pieces of this and that sent down from past relatives where it all forms into a talent within us? Or maybe, if you believe, they are given to us by God or a Power on High?

I think the talents we have, if we are lucky enough to discover them in ourselves, are built onto from experience and practice. We fail and we learn from the failing if our heart keeps believing we can. We keep striving for the goal of learning all we can about our talents and making them better until we either give up in sheer frustration because they are going nowhere or we become victorious and believing we can do it within ourselves. Once we believe we can do something we show others. We believe enough and cause others to take us serious and see we know how to do these talents well. Then they believe, too.

Some of us remember when we went to the Moon. Such an amazing task to happen. To take humans just under 239,000 miles to another heavenly body, orbit it, land on it, stay for a while, collect rocks and pictures, and then come back.
And when Kennedy said his famous speech about going to the Moon, not because it’s easy, but because it is hard, the powers that be didn’t know if we could.
They had no idea how.

But then these really smart scientists, flight engineers, machinists, mechanics, and other geniuses came together and made it happen a few shorts years after Kennedy said we would. It cost millions of dollars, a lot of time, and even a few lives to do so…but we did. More than once.

It took talent.

Yes, these people went to schools and developed their talents in their professions. But there was a seed of talent to do these things inside of them. Maybe since they were born.

Talent needs an outlet. Talent needs to be focused like a laser. It needs a place to be honed and sharpened. It needs a place to experiment and test and be practiced. It needs a place to fail and succeed.

I didn’t really find any talents in myself until the seventh grade. There were things I liked to do but I never really showed any talents in them.
But during that time I found one. I discovered I enjoyed writing stories.
I use to watch a TV show called The A-Team. I was completely dedicated. And being the way I was (and the way I am now), the character that I felt like was my alter-ego was Howling Mad Murdock. He was a pilot extraordinaire that was a little south of being completely sane.
I’m not going to explain the whole show to you. It would take a while. If you don’t know about the things I’m talking about, just Google it. It’s there.

So, I’m a huge fan of Murdock and I wanted to be on the show so bad. Then, one Friday evening, after getting back with my parents from going out to eat, I was sitting in my den pretending to be on the show when I had an epiphany. It felt like a bolt from the sky.
Why don’t I put myself in the show?
I could write a story.

I had never done it before. Well, not really. I pretended a lot of the time. I acted stuff out like I was in a TV show or a movie. This time, I’ll just write it down. I got some of my dad’s blank typing paper that had no lines, a pencil, and a clipboard and went to work. I wrote and I wrote and I wrote.

I wrote for days. When I wasn’t doing school work or playing or doing chores, I was writing. I even took it to school and wrote during lunch, waiting for class to begin or after getting school work done.

Before I knew it, I wrote eighty pages and I wasn’t even half-way done.
Eighty pages.

You have to think about this for a second. For a kid to stay dedicated to writing a story for eighty pages was pretty impressive, if I say so myself. And if memory serves me, it wasn’t half bad. It was a story that would have fit right in the A-Team wheel house and for a kid who had never done that before, it was kind of amazing.

So what was the story?
It was about the principle who owed this biker gang money and would terrorize the school until he paid up. And going to that school was Howling Mad Murdock’s long-lost cousin. I can’t remember how he finds out where his cousin, Murdock, is but he contacts The A-Team, they come and help and Murdock and his cousin reunite.
Yada, yada, yada. There’s more to it than that but you get the idea.

Where’s the story now?
The remnants of it is still in my procession. But…I’m sure you know, that over time, pencil fades. It fades from existence and all that is left is swipes of a few readable words.
It was before I took over my dad’s typewriter.

I was lucky. I found an outlet for my ‘talent’.
Is it a talent? I want it to be. I think I’m not bad at it. And it’s something I want to keep doing and I’m finally finding the guts to make an effort to do something with it.
I found something I’m pretty good at and can keep plowing away at it to get better. It’s not on the same level as going to the Moon but it feels like it. And I’ve tried other talents that I think I have…
I’ve tried making short films and being a director and they didn’t turn out too bad. But it’s a lot harder than you think and a lot harder than I thought.
I’ve wanted to be a voice-over artist and I’m not to bad at voices but that is really hard to get into.
I’ve even tried my hand at podcasting which I still find fun but it’ll never pay the bills.

Writing, though, has always been my first love, the top of the pyramid. That’s the one I have the most fun doing. The one thing I feel the most control over. It’s what I can see doing for the rest of my life.

Some people have a harder time finding an outlet. Some people may never take the chance on their talents.
Some people may never discover their talents. I feel sorry for them. They have no real interest and just go through each like the last with nothing to excite them, nothing to feel apart of the world they live in. It’s sad but those people exist.

For those that believe in God, do you think He puts them in us for a reason or just to help keeps us occupied? And if there is a reason, is HE waiting for us to figure out what the talent is for and to put it to use?
For those that don’t believe, do you think if you have discovered your talent, are you using it the correct way? Or are you using it at all?

I think we should use our talents the best way we can to help better things around us. Even if it’s just to make someone think in a different way or just to smile.

How are you using your talents? And are you brave enough to use them? We must have outlets to funnel them into. You never know how our talents can impact the world.

Maybe your talents will send you or somebody else to another one.

-Loyd Elmore
February, 10th 2017


I’ve decided to keep a blog about how I’m dealing with depression. I’m going to consider this a form of therapy. It might not help anybody else but it might help me.

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