AMBIENT THOUGHT – EPISODE Fifty Four

The following and all of the other episodes to come are snapshots of what goes on in my head, now and in the past. There are times none of this will make sense. There will be times when I might get lucky and the blog I post will be well constructed and will flow like a mountain stream to an awaiting lake below. Other times it will seem like the ramblings of a madman and you’ll ask yourself, “What the……?”
You should probably get use to the latter.

EPISODE FIFTY FOUR:  South Side Of The Magnet

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Magnets are amazing.

They use to mystify me to no end. I would collect as many as I could. My dad would repair TV’s and if he couldn’t, he’d let me at them. I would take out cool looking parts but my main mission was to get the magnets that surrounds the stalk of the TV tube. Sometimes they were weak and they would get thrown away. I would get lucky sometimes with some really powerful ones. They could be so powerful, that if you put two together and if you had some skin of your finger in the way, it would pinch you.
Those were the really good ones, even if they were painful.

I would put one under a table and another one on top and move the bottom magnet around. I pretended I was moving the top one with my mind, using the force. Or I’d ‘use’ my hand and wave the magnet back and forth and try to fool them I was doing it.
They knew it wasn’t me but it was still fun.

I had small ones and large ones. I loved playing with them so much, my dad bought me one of those huge ones that had a big islet in it so you could tie a rope to it, go to a body of water and drag it, looking for metal. It would pick up fifty pounds. Powerful.
I remember my dad said not to play with it too close to the TV because it would mess up the color to the point it would be unfixable.

Yeah, you guessed it. I did and it was unfixable.
And I got into trouble.

But it was worth it. It was awesome.

I would glue smaller ones to older action figures so they could stick to the refrigerator and to the flag pole we had in the front yard. Larger ones I’d put in my gloves and feel the magnetic force against a down spout of a gutter and pretend I was Spider-man or move metal objects on a table top and be a Jedi.

Here’s a little information on magnets. They are made up of a north pole and a south pole. The north is negative and the south is positive. The negative rejects and the positive attracts.
Also, we live on a giant magnet called the Earth.
Now ends our science class for today.

We are like magnets. We attract and we reject.  It goes for people, situations, thoughts, and love….

But with a magnet, there is no motivations. A magnet is just that and nothing more.

People do these things based on will. We choose to push away or to pull closer. Another person may decide to pull away or pull closer to that person. Unlike magnets, people will tend to pull toward others that pull toward them.

Yes, with magnets, opposites attract, every time.
And sometimes people will, too. And it works out for them.
But like I said…sometimes.

Let’s focus on the positive side.

There is something built into us that causes us to push away from people. It may come from experiences in our past or fear of love or closeness. We push away when things are confusing or stressful.
We push away when we are sad and lonely. Or depressed.
I have pushed people away. And what’s funny, I pushed people away when they were holding out a hand to help when that’s what I really wanted. But I’d pull back or knock the hand away yet I craved the help. I became a magnet that was pushing and pulling at the same time. I wanted the help but refused it.

Because of pride? Of fear? Of the feeling I would ‘owe’ them?

I’ve thought about this for many years and I’ve come to the realization that it was just me being weak. I was weak for not accepting the help that was being given to me. Just like those weak magnets that I threw away. They were of no use. I thought I was the same thing. I was of no use and why should I waste anybody’s time in helping me.

I was wrong, of course. And if you ever thought the same way, you were wrong, too.
I’m worth it.
You’re worth it.
We’re worth it.
We need to pull toward each other.

With magnets, opposites attract but with people, it always has to be positives. And it’s important to have more positives than negatives. Too many of those will attract people but not the ones we really want.

I still love magnets. I’ve ordered them online that comes in different shapes and sizes and in different strengths. I still find them amazing and fascinating.
I’m still…attracted…to them. (sorry… I had to)
And I still like to attract positive things in my life. In those moments when I’m not so positive, they help turn me around and point me in the right direction. Like a compass….which works on….(I’ll wait)……….the North pole. Which is part of a…….magnet.
Nevermind.

Be the human magnet today. And tomorrow. And do that everyday. Attract other positive sides of other humans magnets. Say positive things and have positive thoughts and do positive works so maybe you can change negative human magnets into positive ones.

Well all revolve on this big magnet together.

-Loyd Elmore
January 27th 2017

 

I’ve decided to keep a blog about how I’m dealing with depression. I’m going to consider this a form of therapy. It might not help anybody else but it might help me.

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