AMBIENT THOUGHT – Goodbye 2016, You Took More Than You Gave…

The following and all of the other episodes to come are snapshots of what goes on in my head, now and in the past. There are times none of this will make sense. There will be times when I might get lucky and the blog I post will be well constructed and will flow like a mountain stream to an awaiting lake below. Other times it will seem like the ramblings of a madman and you’ll ask yourself, “What the……?”
You should probably get use to the latter.

Goodbye 2016, You Took More Than You Gave…

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(This one s a bit shorter than most. But I think it says a lot.)


I stand on a precipice. Below me is emptiness, just blackness upon blackness. The rocky cliff I stand on disappears into this blackness, this abyss, to a unknown bottom. 

Behind me is the past. I can’t go back to it unless it’s in thoughts or dreams or regrets.
In front of me is a wide, vast emptiness that seems overpowering and all enveloping. 
My toes hang over the edge, in open space.
I must go forward. I must step out into the nothing and hope that there is a foot hold that I can not see.
Or I sprout wings.
I look down and then ahead wanting to see a sign that it will be alright.
Then, far out in the distance, I see the darkness lighten. As if a candle has ignited in a long, dark hallway.
With hope, in the distance, I gather my courage and leap…

 

What a year 2016 has been…

I want to say it brought more good than bad but that would be a big fat lie. Lots of people we hold near and dear has left us. Some had lived nice long lives and others were taken too soon. There have been musical talents that have soothed us and acting talents that have wooed us. Some of these we rooted for or we listened to.
An Eagle has flown away, a Wizard that put a spell on us, a man of space, a spaceman, and a mom to us all. We lost a Trekker, a man of ‘Faith’, the King of golf, the King of the ring, a man who knew about Growing Pains, a man who knew about cops and Firefly’s, and we lost the man who was the fastest gun in the West, the world’s greatest candy maker and a funny necromancer all rolled into one.
And we lost a Prince and a ‘Princess’.
And with that Princess was my first crush. She was my pathway to loving strong women. I got lucky she was the one.

And so many, many more. Too many, if you ask me. Some meant more to me than others. That is no put down to those that weren’t but there were a few life changers that headed out to parts unknown that I wished had stayed a little longer.

But what is life without death? We must all say goodbye sometime. There are times we can prepare ourselves but most of the time it’s a lightning bolt out of the blue.
Honestly, though, how prepared can we be? Even when the final breathes are being taken and we know the end is near and we know it’s coming, when that final breath is out to join all the others, we still can’t believe it.

Another year is coming and it’s just a few days away. This year has been dark. We must believe that 2017 will shine some light.

And let’s hope it brings us better things.
Let’s hope it gives more than it takes.
Let’s hope dreams become possible and become reality.

Let’s just hope…and pray.
(and if you don’t pray, maybe you should DO IT ANYWAY!!!)
(it couldn’t hurt)

-Loyd Elmore
Dec. 28th 2016

 

I’ve decided to keep a blog about how I’m dealing with depression. I’m going to consider this a form of therapy. It might not help anybody else but it might help me.

 

 

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