The following and all of the other episodes to come are snapshots of what goes on in my head, now and in the past. There are times none of this will make sense. There will be times when I might get lucky and the blog I post will be well constructed and will flow like a mountain stream to an awaiting lake below. Other times it will seem like the ramblings of a madman and you’ll ask yourself, “What the……?”
You should probably get use to the latter.
EPISODE NINETEEN: Makin’ Time…
“I’ll try if I can make the time.”
“When I get the time, I’ll do it.”
“I don’t have time.”
Have you ever heard this? Have you ever said it?
I will bet you have. You’ve heard it and you’ve said it.
And I will bet that when you said it, odds are it was a big fat lie.
A BIG FAT LIE!!!!!
I’m just as guilty as you. I have said it. And I can tell you if I said “I’ll try to make the time” to do something, I didn’t want to do it.
Let’s think about all of the time we have in a day and what we do with it. Let’s say you’re the average person and let’s not get hung up on exacts. You wake up, get ready for work where you stay between eight to nine hours. We come home, have dinner and watch TV or read or play video games or whatever.
During your normal day, how much time do you spend on brainless stuff?
Just think about it. I’m not saying you don’t get busy. We all do. Things happen and come up and they must be attended to. That’s what happens when we have responsibilities.
Let’s really think about it and face the truth. We have the time, if we choose to have it.
Think about all of the mindless TV we watch. Think about how many times we have seen that movie. Think about all of the idle time we have had.
The reason we tell somebody, who asked us for some of your time, that we will try to make some is because we don’t really want to. Either this person is somebody we don’t want to hang around or we would rather do something else.
It goes along the same line as asking somebody out on a date and they are washing their hair at the exact time. Or they will be out-of-town.
You ask about another time and they say “we’ll see”.
They don’t want to spend time with you. Period.
And that can go for friends or family that you know. It’s not that they don’t like you it’s just the idea of spending time with you is too hard to think about.
Let’s put this back on me.
I am like this even though I’m starting to change. I have some social anxiety, dealing with strangers AND dealing with friends. I’m not sure when it started. When I was younger I enjoyed hanging out with my buddies and trying to meet girls. I enjoyed going to places and having a laugh.
As I’ve got older, I became a hermit. It’s a wonder I ever got married, twice, or had a child. Getting me out of the house to meet up caused my stomach to become upset and caused the sweats. I would become dry mouthed and sometimes nauseous.
After we would meet up, I’d be fine. All of those things, all of those symptoms, would disappear. Poof.
Even now, just talking to friends over Skype to podcast, gets my stomach in knots.
Why? I don’t know.
Are others having the same problem? Is it why we say we’ll try to make time to do something and have no intention to do so? We all have social anxiety?
I’m sure some do. But not all. Not most.
I believe we tell people that they’ll try to make time is just an easy out. They don’t want to tell the truth. The truth being they simply don’t want to do said thing …or they are scared.
It comes down to this, I think. Making time for others is important. Make time for family and friends. This goes for me….and it goes for you, too. Go out of your way just to let them know you’re thinking about them. If you can’t see them in person, send them a message. In a world where communication is so much easier than it once was (Facebook, Twitter, e-mail, Skype, Facetime, texting, etc.), just sending some love can be so important.
And never feel ashamed of it. Like I said, you never know if that person might need to hear from you. Don’t wait.
But if you can, meet and see them in person. Connect with your friends and family. Connect with the ones you love. Don’t let nerves take control. Make time.
July 10th, 2016
I’ve decided to keep a blog about how I’m dealing with depression. I’m going to consider this a form of therapy. It might not help anybody else but it might help me.