The following and all of the other episodes to come are snapshots of what goes on in my head, now and in the past. There are times none of this will make sense. There will be times when I might get lucky and the blog I post will be well constructed and will flow like a mountain stream to an awaiting lake below. Other times it will seem like the ramblings of a madman and you’ll ask yourself, “What the……?”
You should probably get use to the latter.


episode 16_this one


I remember once when I was younger, sitting on the front porch of the house I grew up in, listening to the radio. It was during the Summer and it was at night. And on the radio was John Mellencamp (add the Cougar if you want) singing Lonely Ol’ Night. As I listened, I teared up. I was thinking about how lonely I felt. I mean, I was a young teenager and hormones were all over the place.
And I also thought about how I was going to get out of this town and see the world. I was going to be in the movies and make lots of money.

Cut to today…

I have a daughter who is a tab bit older than I was that night. She’s smart, funny, pretty, popular and can make friends with anybody because she is one of those people. She is blessed with one of those smiles that put people at ease and makes them smile. I see the best things about me in her and I am so proud.
And one day she’s going to leave.
She is going to leave and start her own life. And in that life she’s going to probably get married and have kids of her own.

And just like every other parent that loves their children so much it can’t be measured, it breaks my heart.
And it’s something I’m looking forward to.
All at the same time.

As the tea pot said, it’s a tale as old as time. We watch our children grow from babies to adults right before our eyes at the speed of light. There is no stopping it, no slowing it. And if you could, you couldn’t, you shouldn’t, you wouldn’t.

As parents, we think about that day, the day they leave the nest and fly away. It’s not like we’re not going to see them again but it feels like that. We’ll always be there for them and give when they need it. We’ll always give them a home because where ever we are, it’s their home, too. And they’re true home will always be in our hearts, never unwavering, never unmoving, always there, with their posters on its walls and their stuff animals on their beds.

We also think about how our parents felt when we were that age, how they cried at the idea of us leaving the home that we grew up in and how they cried when we did. Maybe they looked at our empty rooms that we spent so much time playing with our toys and reading our books and dreaming our dreams.

Of course, we understand their pains…because their pains are our pains now. And one day, our pains will be our children’s pains, when they see their child fly away…

But it’s not all pain. It’s joy.
We have joy mixed with that pain. We want them to make sometime of their lives. We want them to do better than we did, we want them to have more.
And more importantly, we want them to still love us and be there from time to time, to give us a hug and kiss and sit with us to catch up in each others lives.

If you have children and they haven’t reached that point yet, they will.
All you can do is love them and be there for them. Maybe do their laundry and give them a few bucks if you can.
I write these words and I think about that night sitting on the porch. I can still remember John’s tune in my head and the tears welling up in my eyes.
I had no idea at that young age the tears that would fall when I think about my daughter having her own Lonely Ol’ Night and the dreams of leaving to start her own life.

Oh, little bird, when you fly, don’t fly too far away.
And know this nest will ALWAYS have room for you.

Always and forever…

-Loyd Elmore

June 17th, 2016

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